Growing up in a modest village in China, I hardly ever had the chance to see many examples of modern technology; people who dig wells by hand to obtain drinking wateruse ox-driven plows to cultivate their fields don’t have much use for televisiopersonal computers. But when my father gave me an old radio to play with, I wanted nothing more than to take apart the contraptionsee what i ide made such interesting sounds. Sitting on the floor with a confused grin, surrounded by wiresmetal, I looked up at my fatheraskedthe noises were…(有删节)
合理地阐述了申请者学习电子工程的动机,学习动机是评审委员非常看中的。同时,读了这段文字,会使读者沉浸在对童年往事的.美好回忆里,借此打动评审委员的心。
另外一篇修改过的文章开头用诗一般的语言写道(有删节):
……I first read this paragraphMadame Curie as a 14-year-old child,I still remember how wonderful I felt. I remember thinking, “What esteemed men they were! How hard they worked!” As I grew older, this paragraph became a source of encouragement in the face of adversity. I begin to feel a magical blue light twinkling in my heart, kindling a love of science,encouraging me to charge bravely into the unknown world.
结尾呼应了开头,阐述了作者为什么要去美国读书:
I never forgot my adolescent idol, Maria Curie. As I re-read the book, another pa age leaped out: “She was now 24-an age when some of her great contemporaries were to be on the brink of major discoveries… Maria took the trainWarsaw to Paris, the intellectual Mecca.”
Due to the comprehensiveness of China’s “reform and open” policies, economics plays an increasingly important role in the development of its global position. Though more and more companies built, management of companies cannot catch up with the development of the companies. Management is a burgeoning field in China, so I hope I can acquire more modern knowledge on management in England.
The roots of my strong interest in business can be traced back to my childhood. My father was among the first of China’s new breed of modern entrepreneurs. As a young girl, it was inspirational hearing about his business ventures, and meeting the varied and interesting circle of entrepreneurs. My mother was also involved in business as an accountant, helping him with simple calculations. And so it was early in my life that I hoped I, also, would someday be able to enter the realm of business.
With the time of growing up, I preferred reading books to satisfy my curiosity. I never ceased to contemplate over the questions I encountered. Subjects on business and management became a special fascination to me and my knowledge of psychology as well as interest in this field was increasing rapidly.
As a high school student in China, I had to concentrate on the College Entrance Examination (CEE), even so, books not related to the exams were never excluded from my life. Unfortunately when sitting in the exam in June, 2001, I was so nervous that I didn’t score well in the CEE exam. I enrolled in the department of Computer Science in Zhejiang College of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Any attempt to persuade myself to focus on my major turned out to be a failure at the beginning of my college life. After several terms, I realized that I would never be interested in being a programmer or an engineer. At that moment, I lost my direction and objectives.
My persistence in reading saved me from the dark situation. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed reading the books included Encyclopedia American, and some books about management by Peter F.Drucker.
I began to notice something interesting: Why some companies can produce more than others? Why some company can sell more than others? Why some companies can build up but others cannot when facing the same difficulties?
With the questions in my mind, I started to read many relevant books. I was lucky to read the book “Jack: Straight from the Gut”by Jack Welch, in Which John A. Byrne makes a clear illustration that the management is important for a company.
When I was a junior, I ran a bookshop by myself near my school. I should manage not only the finance in the shop but also the employees in my shop even made some strategies to enlarge the business in my shop to hold on the run the shop.
From this, my interpersonal skills and the capacity in business has been greatly developed, definitely I was increasingly interested in what I was doing. By December, 2003, I had finally determined to take business management as my career instead of IT. To accumulate more relevant knowledge, I strived to gain more practical work experience in some big companies.
Fortunately, as a senior, I began by conducting an internship in the Architecture Company in Zhejiang Province.
Over six months, I worked as an assistant of the manager to harmonize the relationship between the different departments in this company and to draft some management system, which broadened my perspective of management conditions and business performance in different industries. The experience showed me that management is much more important than that of I thought in big companies. After graduation, I continued my work in this company.
In May, 20XX, the company offered me an opportunity to participate in an training program held by a famous management school. Through in-depth discussions with teachers and students in the classes, they all encouraged me to pursue my future career in management field because of my intellectual ability and the brand new ideas I mentioned.
During the short period of training, I realized that pursuing a higher degree in management is a wise choice for me now. Lancaster, with its excellence in management, represents the perfect fit for my needs. In your challenging environment, I can build the required foundation of knowledge related to management to achieve my goals. I am firmly convinced that your admission will be my first step of success. With this in mind, I hereby submit my application, and await your favorable reply.
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